it's been too long...

it's been too long. 

my heart is so full. my mind cannot hold enough space to conceptualize the journey the past two years have brought to my life. the days go by. words float through my mind. i have finally found a moment (brief as it may be) to dig deep into the depths of my mind and allow my passions to resurface. there is a current flowing through me, unlike any i have ever felt before; because of course, never before was i a mom to this beautiful girl, who brings a multitude of emotions to my body. every. day.  every minute. of every day. it amazes me that one small, innocent being can have such a huge enormous impact on the lives she touches. and so, while one chapter of my journey quickly came to an end, sometime back in may of twenty-thirteen, a new chapter began and i am just now finding some space to decompress all of "it". so, onward i will travel, hopefully sharing parts of my story to help inspire, support and engage others. 

life is full of surprises and one thing i do know and am quite convinced of, is that, the universe has a plan....while that may be difficult to accept during troublesome times in our lives, it may also be comforting to know that there is a plan. trust. 

that is where we must begin. 

and so, trust is where i begin to begin.  

if you find yourself reading this, know, that in all corners of the world, we are all working on something.....trust me.

i'm listening

when the world begins to speak to you.

you need to listen.

when you learn things about yourself.

you need to listen.

when life speaks it's truth.

you need to listen.

when the universe shows its signs.

you need to listen.

i'm listening.

to what i need.

i'm listening.

to part of me.

i'm listening.

to things inside.

i'm listening.

to the truth of my life's desire.

the truth is, for years. several years, my body, mind and spirit have been wondering what the raging glutenous, dairy and refined-sugar filled foods do to my body.  and while i've reached out to severeal avenues of holisitic medicine over the past few years (all of which often pointed me in the direction of a gluten-free, dairy free, refined sugar free lifestyle) i never really "knew". (or did i?). i never really knew if all the foods that contain all that "stuff" were really causing me as much internal grief as i thought they might be. i knew that sometimes  a lot of the time, my body would fight back. it would give me signals. and so, i'd do my best to give it what i thought it needed. however, life seemed to get in the way, with stops at the market for ice cream on a blistering hot day, delicious eats at my favorite local restaurant after a busy, stressful, i just need yummy food kind of week and of course the overwhelming feeling of "putting others out" because of my deeply-gutted suspicion that i shouldn't eat what was being served.  little did i know, the foods with which i've been eating have been having more of an impact on my body than i really, and i mean, really, knew. they weren't just causing occasional stomach upset, or embarrassing facial inflammation (yes, it's true),  or lethargy and bouts of moodiness (i know, imagine, right?). they've been doing much more. they've been causing internal dysnfunction  that i couldn't see. and you know what they say- "out of sight, out of mind", right? but now, i see. through traditional medicine, i can see.  

and so this brings me to another point in my journey. the point at which i've come to realize that it's entirely O.K. to combine both traditional and alternative medicine to meet ones health needs. i mean, yin and yang exist for a reason, right? 

as my journey continues, i've learned that the foods which are detrimental to my body have caused both internal and external grief.  and while i was listening as best i could, i hadn't yet lived through the event which would ultimately "convince" me that, yes. this is the route i must take. this is the path in which i must be on. this is my path.  

we are in control. and we must listen when the universe speaks. i could be upset with myself for not taking things more "seriously", sooner. but the truth of the matter is that i had done the best that i could have done, knowing what i knew, at that moment in time. the past is the past and in order to move forward, one needs to let it all go. 

and so i begin. or, i have begun. my mind is set. those days are done. 

days of sacrificing momentary tastes. 

days of guilty pleasure 

because someone else baked.

it's my life,

i've realized. 

my body. 

my mood.

my choice.

my right.

to eat what i choose.  

as with all moments in life, i like to think, all things are meant to be. (and yes, i have my moments where life hands me platters with which i question that very mantra). but something i've realized is that when we open ourselves up to new possibilities. things happen. and today, as i spoke with a lovely woman at our local natural foods store, i was reminded again of how life has its way. she too, eats a gluten free lifestyle. and so, like every gluten-free person will likely do, she introduced me to gluten-free recipes, more specifically this blogger:

www.mynewroots.org 

her name is sarah b. 

she has heaps of wonderful recipes and videos, too. so i thought i'd keep passing on the information for you to view.  

i watched her video and these words, her words, resonated with me:

"With every bite of food we take,

we are voting, 

for the way we will look,
for the way we think,

for the way we will feel. 

Our food becomes us." 

-sarah b.

this is such a powerful message. so much truth. so much knowing. 

what's on your plate tonight?

~femme

it just came to me

she looked at her reflection in the mirror and decided that
 it's okay to allow yourself 
to feel what you feel.

no one can tell you to hold it back.

no one can tell you how it should all feel.

no one can tell you what they think they know. 

no one can tell you.

honour your emotions. 

wrestle your inner strength.

in whatever way you feel.

write it out. 

cry it out. 

just. 

let. 

it. 

out.  

life is too short for restless nights.

femmeclectique 

morpheus stone

morpheus stone...

continuing on our path...

i sit in this moment, 

moments so clear,

thoughts are drifting, 

waiting for you to come near. 

we plan and plan, our lives away,

we're told it's so easy, 

be careful, they say.

our lives are etched in a morpheus stone.  

the days, they are planned, 

but to us, it's unknown. 

the path on which we traverse, 

it's bumpy, 

it's rough. 

full of surprises,

full of "tough stuff". 

it's what makes us stronger, 

through weak moments we see, 

that our lives cannot be predicted,

we cannot foresee.

the plans,
 they are laid. 

before our arrival, 

lessons,
 we learn, 

it's part of our survival. 

holding on. 

over here.

trusting life's path.

living with hope. 

following the path. 

that's full steam ahead, 

sails up, sails down.

paddling slow, into the ground.

 a few steps back,

a few turn arounds,

after our crashes, 

we get back up from being down.

the days, 
they move forward.

sun rises and sets. 

our moments are lived, 

until the next.

~femme eclectique 

(poem inspired by liz lamoreux

-thank you for helping me create space)

 perspective

community 

restful summer days

well, it's been a toasty summer here. some may say that's a bit of an understatement. others relish in the heat, soaking it all in. while i've certainly enjoyed the summers heat, i have to say, being a shore girl at heart, i do miss the salt air and the usual breeze to which it gently (and sometimes not so gently) delivers. but alas, we must accept what mother earth has placed upon us. soon, the days will become shorter, the air cooler and for me, work will call my name. so, i accept the sleepless nights and overheated gardens. it's forcing me to sleep more and embrace the rest with which i've desperately needed over the past several weeks.  

i've been working hard lately on reframing my thoughts around the difference between resting and being lazy. i've been programmed to believe that when i am not "doing", then i am being lazy. this is something that i believe has been handed down (from both sides of my family) for generations. an old way of thinking perhaps and one that has embedded itself in the very depths of my mind and belief systems (to which i am realizing, there are many). i've been extremely mindful this summer and have noticed just how much i say "oh, i'm having a lazy day". yet, in that lazy day, i've managed to clean up some of the garage, throw in a load of laundry or two, water the garden, read, do the dishes, cuddle the cats (they need love too!), respond to emails, check on the finances, rearrange some cupboards, and catch up with my sister in africa. usually things such as this are done throughout a day with intermittent "rests" on the couch, perhaps watching one of our six channels (we barely watch tv), maybe catching up ramdomly on "days of our lives"....which even though i haven't watched it in years, i can still follow it. you know how those shows are. admit it. you succomb to them too, now and then....a little mindless tv has never hurt anyone. and so i've realized, that this is the first summer of many (i can't recall when, perhaps when i was 7?) that i have had time to be "lazy". i am not moving a home or a classroom, i have not sat in a classroom for 6 hours a day monday to friday learning and unlearning, i'm not planning a wedding (but oh, how that was so much fun!). i've simply been enjoying summer and have been thankful for all the time i've had to myself, to spend with family, friends and other loved ones.   

do you need to claim your words? reframe your thoughts? reflect on these questions for a moment and see where they take you..... 

as summer winds down, i find my mind slowly (and i mean, slowly) slipping back into what i like to call "routine" mode. soon, my sleep-in days, late breakfasts on the deck, followed by some light reading and asking myself what i might do with my day will come to an end and be replaced with alarm clocks, 6am wake-ups, buzzers and bells. like most years though, i'm ready for it. i look forward to changing with the seasons and slipping into pumpkin season, corn maze delusions, fuzzy sweaters, the sweet smell of fallen leaves and the comforting, crunching sounds they make underfoot on a brisk morning walk.  for now though, i have a book to finish! 

x femme

om

being oneness. 

being truth.

being creation. 

this is essentially what i've been up to lately, hence the hiatus from my blog.

to fully be true in all my states of being, i believe my thoughts during these times should not be focused on what my next blog post is going to say, do or be.

and so, this leaves me with the reason why i've been away from writing here.

this is not to say that during my reflection time i am not dreaming up marvelous blog posts for your reading pleasure....i am...and they will come....when it's their time.

as usual, sometimes i snap photos of my adventures and goings on-simply because i just love pictures. so, i have a snapshot into some of the pieces that have allowed me to seek the necessary quiet inside my mind over the last few weeks.

it's been great.

summer is delicious.

it seems the weather is quite symbolic of the goings on inside my mind, too.

funny how that happens.  

cultivating.

lots of weeds!

finished product!

reclaiming my art room after much "on the go" upheaval!

ahhh. there's a wonderful, creative space....

ready to write.

and ready to type...

 

creativity awaits.....

x

unexpected inspiration...

it's amazing when inspiration can hit you. big or small, there's a need for it all.  as i felt this evenings warm breeze drift along, whilst pulling the endless weeds from our marvelous veggie garden, my gaze sauntered over to the four beautiful "new" doors my parents ever so kindly delivered to me this week. now, some people might think these doors would look more lovely next to the road for spring clean up. i, am quite thankful for those people who think in such a way, because i'm the scavenger who is excited to find such exciting roadside finds! and so, i believe the doors are real beauties. i just love the colors. and the oh-so naturally old, crackled paint. mmmm. just delicious.

this wasn't one of those moments where i was thinking about doing something to share for a blog post. that's not really how i work. instead, it was a moment when, at the end of my creating, i thought- darn it! i should have taken before and after pictures to show the transformation. but, when an artist is inspired and sets off to work; when you are truly in the moment of creating, there is no time for pictures. not for this artist, anyway. it wasn't something i was "thinking through" and quite frankly, i think that's when some of the greatest creations are birthed. and so it was, on this glorious evening that i transformed the plain old back of the garage (soon-to-be turned studio-more to come on that!) into something more than just a plain old back of the garage!  with a little help from my husband, the doors were taken from their slumped position, lying next to our deck, to a lovely little green space they would now call home. while i was manuvering them around, trying to center them "just so" and deciding if i wanted one door, two doors or three and which color sequence to put them in, i discovered a creeping vine (i'm not sure what kind it is exactly?). suddenly i felt like i was in the "secret garden". now, i know, my little green space does not compare to the images that still remain in my mind from the long ago days when i read that book. but that's what it made me think of. so, being the determined soul i am, i tugged and pulled at the precious vines. and there are many! they are deeply rooted, some of which have tried to take growth through the floor of our garage! without disturbing too much of the other growth that surrounded all the vines, i mananged to gently bring them to the light, from under the tall grass entanglement. they are just so lovely! i do hope they like their new location. and hope they don't mind me training them to grow upward to create a picturesque collage of leaves. 

so, in your mind, imagine the before pictures. three old doors all slumped (as much as doors can slump) against a deck, waiting to be given a proper home. now, imagine a back of a garage surrounded in front by weeds, tall grass and vines. there, you now have the before pictures! the other bits of decor i scrounged up from my collection of vintage finds, of which i also have many.

training the vines.

i just love the colors

create

hoping a bird finds a home in our bird cage
that once housed our wedding cards

weeds which led to my impromptu creating...
gardening truly cultivates the mind, body and soul..not just the soil ;)


we're hoping one day, there will be real garden doors coming out the back of the garage (which, by then, will be my studio!).  

what have you been inspired to do lately? take some time outside, with nature to allow your mind to simply drift off....maybe you weed a garden, or sit and sip a favorite beverage while listening to the beauty of the world that surrounds you, in whatever part of the world you might find yourself!
you'll be surprised where it might take you.... 

with gratitude,
femme
x